The Road Less Traveled is Hard to Walk

     Okay, well SE and AB have both talked a bit about their faith and Christianity here on the blog lately, so I think it would be a good time for me to hop on the bandwagon and talk about my own faith too. I'm one of those born and bred Christians--I've gone to church since the day I was born, grew up in Sunday School and Wednesday Night Services, got my first real Bible at like, age 2 (which makes little to no sense since I couldn't read, haha), and was raised by devout Christian parents (my mother's side is Mennonite, my father's side is Baptist, quite an unusual mix). I've never missed church on purpose, and I accepted Christ into my heart at age 8 and got baptized a year ago in a river behind a log cabin. I'm not telling you all this to make me seem like the perfect saintly little church girl that every Christian parent dreams their child would be. Actually, it's quite the opposite. I, like both SE and AB, have struggled with my faith to no end. I'm a very up and down kind of person. I'll go for weeks on end praising the Lord Jesus to the ends of the earth, doing my devotionals every morning, praying every night, listening attentively to every sermon. And then it'll fade away after a while and I'll start doodling and writing notes to my friends during sermons, skipping my devotions and prayers to watch TV or read a book instead, and just generally tuning God out. And I hate that about myself. I'm sure God doesn't want me to hate myself. I mean it's only human to have ups and downs. But it just makes me so angry at myself to think that my faith is so weak that it tapers off at the drop of a hat! 
     One of my biggest problems is that I have, as they're called in Sunday Schools across the country, "worldy idols". I love TV and YouTube and reading and clothes and material STUFF way too much. SO much that it often overshadows my love for God. And that is not okay. Something I often pray (when I DO pray) is "Dear Jesus, please let the things of the world seem unimportant compared to You". But you know what? Easier said than done! And that's another thing, I always expect that once I pray for something, it's gonna automatically be solved with absolutely no effort on my part, and then when I start obsessing over a movie or a magazine or something too much, I get mad at God for not making it seem unimportant. But come on, it's not God who turns on the TV. It's not Jesus who hands me a magazine. It's me. So I think as Christians, it's not enough to just pray and expect God to take care of things instantly. We have to put in some work too. We have to be willing to resist the temptations we asked God to relieve us of. And that's what I struggle with.

Haha, great picture. 

     So if you've been reading this blog and think I'm some perfect Mennonite angel, you're dead wrong. I've been angry with God so many times for no reason, I've sinned so much it's made me cry myself to sleep, I've gone back on promises I made to God a thousand times. But I'm trying. I'm sincerely trying to be the person that God wants me to be. But it's not an easy journey to take. There's a lyric from this one song that I love ("Fix My Eyes" by for King and Country-- you should listen to it, it's great. All their songs are) that goes "I learn the lines and talk the talk/ But the road less traveled is hard to walk". And that's the dang truth! It's hard to be a Christian in the 21st century, especially as a teenager. A lot of the time I'm afraid to speak out about my beliefs because I'm afraid of being persecuted for them. People look at you weirdly when you tell them you're a virgin, and plan to be until you're married. People give you the evil eye when you say that you are against abortion. But God wants us to speak out about the things He tells us are true. The Bible literally says that people who are persecuted for their faith in Him will be incredibly blessed when they get to heaven. But that's hard to wrap my head around-- that I should basically throw my head on the guillotine by professing my beliefs and be made fun of and tortured and lose all my friends and my family so that I can be rewarded when I die? That honestly sounds very unappealing to me. But I know that the riches and beauty and splendor of heaven are so much more amazing than anything I could possibly ever have on earth, so that's my driving force. Still, it's really hard to trust in God as a 16 year old female in 2014. So if you're struggling like me, just remember how much God loves you, and how absolutely amazing heaven will be if you follow God with all your heart. And in the meantime, I will try my hardest to take my own advice.
     Sorry this rant is so long!
                                                                -VaughnDL