I've Changed
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| How could anyone tell me I should've been in a classroom, and not right there? |
2. I drink coffee every day. BUT I'M NOT ADDICTED. I've tested this by not drinking any coffee and it has no effect...I feel exactly the same whether I drink coffee or not. The thing about coffee here is that it's TINY. It's impossible to get the jitters off of 4oz of coffee. I drink it because I like the taste, and it's a relaxing thing to do in the morning. Also, the coffee here is stellar.
3. I don't shower every day. I'm really portraying a great picture of myself right now...but hear me out, the shower I use only has a hand-held shower head that won't stay in the overhead position, so every shower is essentially a spit bath, since I have to hose myself wet, shampoo, rinse, shave, rinse, condition, rinse...you get the idea. It's a whole process, man. So I do it every other day. PLUS they're huge on saving water here, so I feel like it'd be frowned upon to shower daily.
4. I arrive late...frequently. But I still arrive before my professors or whoever I'm meeting up with. It's just the culture. It's an event-oriented culture, which means "Hey, we're having this thing here around this time, come when you can, we'll still have a good time whether it's 50 minutes like it's supposed to be or 30 minutes because you came 15 minutes late and left 5 minutes early" (cough cough, Profesora de Lorenzo). Granted, I've never been extraordinarily punctual (always "fashionably late", as they say), but I've never done that with CLASS before, or meeting up with people I don't know very well, or church. But as I said, there are no consequences because everyone else is later than me...
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| Look how SMALL we are. The world did not take notice of my absence from Hispanoamericana. The ocean was happy to be admired instead. |
5. I turn in assignments late...occasionally. We get homework so rarely here that sometimes I forget I even have it until the professor is like "Okay, hand in your work if you have it!" And then I panic and I tell the professor at the end of class I didn't do the assignment and she's like "Oh it's fine, just give it to me whenever!" And no points are deducted.
6. I'm impulsive. I say yes to things without knowing exactly what I'm getting into, I book weekend trips only a few weeks in advance, I get things at bakeries and restaurants not having much, if any, of an idea what I'm ordering, I send emails and texts without agonizing and worrying over every word (okay, I'm still working on this one, but it's getting better).
7. My identity is not "student" or "family group leader" or "mentor". I don't have a title here. I serve no grand purpose. I go to class, I come home, I write in my journal or read a book or talk to friends for hours or watch Netflix. The identities that used to consume so much of my time and defined who I was and the worth I placed on myself--student, co-servant, co-chair--they have no meaning here. I have no title, and I am still loved, and I can still love myself.
Some of these changes would be seen as negative qualities for a person to develop. But not me.
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| Aw man, so sad I missed class for this...said no one ever. |
I think that the biggest thing that's changed about me is that I don't kick myself for enjoying life anymore. I do things because they bring me joy and because I can and because I recognize the ephemeral nature of these five months that have ticked away and become just two.....There will be time in my future, so much time, for busyness and stress and worry and work. For now, I've been given a pause on all that. I've been given five beautiful months to store up all the peace, quiet, solitude, reflection, and joy that I will certainly need for harder seasons to come. I know full well that in months and years to come I will look back on this time and long for it, and because of that I'm trying every day to recognize and be grateful for this time that I possess right now.
-SE Wagner
Does this mean that I can skip class to go home for Easter? -AB
Yes. -SE
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