We're All Growing Up Now

     It's funny how you can not see someone for months and then in one minute it feels like it was only yesterday that you were seeing each other every day. Today we had a "friend reunion" at the Dixie and I had thought that it would be weird to see everyone after three months or longer but it wasn't weird at all. It felt like we hadn't changed at all, that it was just another day over the summer, getting together to spend time together before we all left and went our separate ways. And yet there was also something underneath that told me that we had changed. It wasn't something I could put my finger on, but we've all seen different things and had different experiences at different colleges and to pretend like nothing's changed at all, well I think in some ways that's an insult to the last three months. We've each gone through a lot since August. We're not the same. Maybe we're not fundamentally different either but I think we've all grown up a bit. Although that was hard to tell, watching us hang out together at the high school as though we'd never left. Going back there made me realize how much I needed to leave. My whole world was that school for four years. It was a good world, but it was a small one. I'm glad I got to see more of the world, and I'm glad I have here to come back to. It's a good place to come back to, and more importantly, I have good people to come back to.
     Seeing DL for the first time in three months didn't feel as momentous as it should have, probably because I've never really felt like I was apart from her since going off to college. We're always telling each other the minutiae of our days so it felt like when I saw her in person the only difference was that she was physically next to me in my car, instead of embodied in my phone or in the blog or in a letter. We didn't even really have anything to catch up on, except for my newest saga with my phlegm issues.
     Tonight DL, AP, MF and I got dinner together and there were moments when it felt just like old times but there were also "You're not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy" moments when I realized that our friendship has changed. It's been changing for a while, as we all keep growing up, but I guess I just had to come to terms with the fact that it might never be just like old times again. Old times are old times for a reason. There's nothing fundamentally wrong with growing up or changing. It's just hard sometimes.
     And that's what I have to say about that.

Day 1093 Song Recommendation: "Dreamers" by Scavenger Hunt.
Day 1094 Song Recommendation: "Peaches" by In the Valley Below.
Day 1095 Song Recommendation: "Dream Machines" by Big Deal.

-SE Wagner


Popular Posts