Trashy TV & Panda Slippers
If you need something to cheer you up, I highly recommend Bachelor in Paradise. It's the most ridiculous show ever, but absolutely hilarious to make fun of and it makes you realize how amazing and drama-free your life is.
Classes started today, and me being the over-prepared worry-wart that I am, I was twenty minutes early to both of my classes so I just waited outside of the building until a more reasonable time. Both of my professors seem nice and laid-back (my Race & Poverty in the Americas teacher let us out 15 minutes early so I was done with school by 1:35 P.M. Craziness) and I don't have any homework yet! Tomorrow is my "hard day" though so we'll see how that goes. After my English class, I hung out around campus for a while (campus is so crowded now that everyone has moved in and classes have started) before going to Morgan Hall for lunch. I ate alone (but didn't feel too lonely, which was nice) before two girls asked to sit at the table with me and I was about to leave but I didn't want it to seem like I was leaving because they sat there so I stayed and talked with them for like 15 minutes and we had the typical "What's your name/where are you from/what's your major/where are you staying/what classes do you have?" conversation but it was still nice. Then I had R&P in the As, read part of the introduction to the Daodejing (one of the books we're reading for my English class), then walked to TJ's apartment and hung out there for like three hours, watched an episode of the Office, read some more of the introduction, and TJ made dinner for us (salmon, potatoes, and salad) and it was super good! We ate on his little balcony and I could make out a tiny sliver of the skyline from where I was sitting. It felt very grown-up. Then I went inside and washed the dishes and when I came back out I accidentally shut the sliding door and I couldn't open it again and I was like "Oh no...oh no no no" because I'd locked us out and there was no way to get back in and TJ was like "Oh my gosh. What have you done?! Oh my gosh whyyyy. Nonono" and he was trying to open the other door but it was locked too and I was looking down to the street wondering if it was possible to climb down when TJ gives the door I'd shut a pull and it slides open and I breathed the hugest sigh of relief. TJ just started laughing and I still don't know if he knew all along that we weren't locked out or if he was just playing it off like he hadn't almost just wet his pants.
After that, I headed back home and when I checked my phone I saw that Kristen had invited Melissa, Haley, and me to come watch the Bachelor in her room and while I had no desire to watch the Bachelor, I do have a desire to make friends so I happily agreed. I went for a quick run, showered, put on my crazy purple socks and panda slippers and made some microwave popcorn (that I tried to make taste good with different flavor powders but it was super gross) then headed down to the first floor where Kristen's dorm is. When I got there, another girl I hadn't met was waiting outside and then Kristen opened the door and we went in and introduced ourselves (her name was Selena). The Bachelor was already playing on Kristen's laptop so we all took a seat and I offered them my gross popcorn (which they lovingly ate) and we settled in for some quality reality TV. A few minutes later, Haley, Melissa, and Melissa's roommate Emily showed up and I offered my gross popcorn again and they tried it and said they liked it. What wonderful liars. While the episode was kind of unnecessarily long (two hours), it was great entertainment and fun to laugh at with other people. After the episode ended it was 10 o'clock so we all said goodnight since at least Haley and I have 8 A.M. classes tomorrow. It was a lot of fun though, and I felt more like myself. I could sit on the floor of someone's dorm, wearing granny socks and animal slippers, spilling popcorn powder on her carpet and not be judged for it.
As I was walking from my dorm to the trash room to dump the last dredges of popcorn, I knew I looked ridiculous (when I came back from Kristen's room, my roommate was like "Nice outfit") but I kept thinking about what BL said that night at the bonfire...that his first impression of me was basically this girl with a stick up her butt who didn't know how to have fun. I don't want to be that girl. People like people who seem human. So Imma go ahead and walk around looking like a total nerd and Imma feel good about it. Thanks, BL, for your infinite words of wisdom.
One thing that I'm learning about college is that feelings come and go. One day, I feel like I'm finding a place here and the next I feel like I don't belong at all and I can't wait to go back home to my real friends. I guess I'm learning to take everything as it comes and try not to get too upset when things are less than perfect...because they'll never be perfect. But they can be good.
Quote of the Day: "If it weren't for second chances, we'd all be alone."--Gregory Alan Isakov, "Second Chances"
Day 1012 Song Recommendation: "1997" by Saint Motel. "Well, it's tough to love another/And it's hard to find a friend/Somebody else who has no others/Somebody else who understands/And then it happened, in 1997."