The Two Police Officers

It's no secret that it's been a crappy week. I've been in this house watching the news and today was the final straw. The news is important to watch but watching to much of it isn't healthy. Everything is cynical and depressing. They act like the world will be ending tomorrow. That nobody is this world is good. At least that's what I get from it. I won't go on a rant about the news in general. This whole week I've been thinking about Brady. He left a few weeks ago to go to Georgia to train for the capital police. It's been rough. Brady has always been there. Whenever he would leave the house he would always say, "Call me if you need me!" Every single time. It was something that I took for granted. The pictures up there are my favorite pictures of the two of us. I crack up every time I see them. This whole week I've been worrying about him and my dad. The two police officers in my life. I didn't know what was going to happen to them. I prayed every day that they wouldn't get hurt. Then I got mad that the people who try to protect us are being ridiculed. Then today I turned off the news and I started thinking. I think about the people who want nothing to do with this. The black people and the police officers who are genuinely good people. They didn't ask for any of this but they will have to deal with the aftermath of the chaos. I mourn for the black community. I don't know what it's like to fear that a police officer might be a bad guy. My whole life I have had privilege simply because of the color of my skin. I'm sorry that it took me so long to truly notice that. I'm sorry that you don't feel safe. I can only do so much as one person. I can't change what some people think. I can promise you that I won't judge you. I can promise you that I will be there for you. I can promise you that my father and brother are not like the police officers that you have seen on the news. I am disgusted by what I see. I would love to believe that every police officer is a good ethical person. That's not realistic though. I think even in the beginning of the all the police brutality I thought there was no way that a police officer could be bad. I know that's naive and again not realistic. It's not true. There are bad people in this world and we can't ignore that. So in the sadness of it all I thought about my brother. When you look at those pictures all you see is a little boy who loves his sister. There is so much more to my brother than that. Before my brother left for Georgia he had a list and I think it shows a little more of who my brother is.

When I saw this list laying on the kitchen counter I prayed that he didn't forget the iron and the binder. Because that is something that Brady would do. Brady would forget two things that are important, Brady would spell remember wrong and Brady and his handwriting that hasn't improved since first grade. Brady is the type of person that would do anything for anyone. He's the type of person that will listen to you no matter what. I would listen to stories about people talking about their older brothers and I didn't get it. I didn't understand how older brothers could be so mean. Brady was nothing like that. Instead of beating me up he would beat up anyone who tried to hurt me. He would always want to hang out with me. Whenever he would see me he would scream my nickname and come over to give me a hug. People never understood how we were brother and sister because of how different we were. I got really lucky though. Seeing all the stuff on the news makes me worry about my brother and my dad. It makes me worry about the world in general. Right now though there isn't anything that I can do. I need to turn off the TV and go do something else. 

DFTBA

-AB