I'm Sad; I'm Happy (I'm Sappy)

     Here I am, putting off stuff again. A photographer is coming to take pictures of our house tomorrow so I should be in my bedroom shoving stuff into boxes to hide in a closet somewhere but instead I'm doing this.

     I just watched the world's most depressing documentary, The Mask We Live In, about how society raises boys to be unseen rice (yes, thank you autocorrect, that's definitely what I meant). What I was trying to say...it was about how society raises boys to be insensitive and violent and suppress their feelings and dominate other people and I don't know why I watched it because now I'm in a weird, sad mood. And I didn't need help with that at all. Sometimes I just get way too in my head and I've been doing that today. Tomorrow I need to go take a hike or something or talk to my family for more than five minutes at a time. 

     DL and I were talking today about how we keep trying to put college stuff off, like I put off emailing my roommate back because it makes me realize I have to go to college in a few months and live with a stranger and meet new people, and DL puts off getting dorm stuff and different little annoying college things and how we both kind of unintentionally push our families away so that it'll be easier to leave. The thing is, as hard as it is to leave, it's even harder to be left. What sucks the most about college is that it feels like you're both leaving and being left. I know that a few weeks ago I was all "embrace change", "move forward", "new chapter in our lives", "better things in the future" but today...not really feeling that. Not to say it's not true, but right now I'm in the "college sucks; I don't want to change" mood so pardon me for being a hypocrite.

     I was two seconds from deleting this post because who needs more sadness in the world? I should be happy and upbeat!! But then I realized that would be repressing my feelings and I've found that one of the quickest way to be happier is to look at happy pictures. And apparently writing about being sad helps cure your sadness because I'm not sad anymore...anyway, here are some happy pictures.

Day 937 Song Recommendation: "At the Table" by Josh Garrels.

-SE Wagner