It Will Get Better
I honestly don't know how to write this post. Yesterday afternoon was perfect. I went over to my aunt's house to have a little party for my birthday and give out candy to the trick or treaters. We had so much fun. As always we laughed a lot. My uncle wore a ridiculous afro. We had a cake for my birthday and we ate pizza. Nana creepily took pictures of kids with great costumes. (I tried to stop her.) When I got home I wrote the blog post and went to sleep.
This morning I woke up and the day went as planned. My mom and I looked at college's online and there is one that I am excited about. Then I got ready for the day, planning to do nothing. I was eating lunch and watching The Office when my mom called me. My dad's brother (my uncle) had a heart attack and passed away. The first question I asked God when I hung up the phone was "why? What the hell is the point of all of this?" and "When am I going to get good news one day?" "Why are you doing this to me?" I felt so uncomfortably alone. I thought about my cousin and how she was going to get married this Sunday. I sat there and screamed at God and God held me. He understood and he understands. In this situation it is so easy to see God as this awful and evil God who just wants people to suffer for the heck of it. I really believe though that the struggles that I have now will only make me stronger in the long run. I also have a stronger sense of compassion for people. It also makes me more faithful to God because it does get better. There will be a day where there will be no suffering or pain. That I will meet Jesus face to face and everything will be fine. God has a plan and everything that happens in our lives happens for a reason. We all have a point in our lives where we feel like it's never going to get better. Maybe for me that's my teenage years.
I have a sense of peace though. I don't know what I would do without God. I would have no faith, nothing to hold onto. I don't believe that I would have peace. Christianity has one thing that other religions do not have and that is a living God. God is not only there for us but he suffers with us. He loves us so unconditionally. I understand that Christ suffered more than any of us will. He took on all of the sins of the world in him. He was hated, persecuted and died on a cross.
I am beyond thankful for him and his love and compassion outweighs any suffering on this earth.
DFTBA
-AB
This morning I woke up and the day went as planned. My mom and I looked at college's online and there is one that I am excited about. Then I got ready for the day, planning to do nothing. I was eating lunch and watching The Office when my mom called me. My dad's brother (my uncle) had a heart attack and passed away. The first question I asked God when I hung up the phone was "why? What the hell is the point of all of this?" and "When am I going to get good news one day?" "Why are you doing this to me?" I felt so uncomfortably alone. I thought about my cousin and how she was going to get married this Sunday. I sat there and screamed at God and God held me. He understood and he understands. In this situation it is so easy to see God as this awful and evil God who just wants people to suffer for the heck of it. I really believe though that the struggles that I have now will only make me stronger in the long run. I also have a stronger sense of compassion for people. It also makes me more faithful to God because it does get better. There will be a day where there will be no suffering or pain. That I will meet Jesus face to face and everything will be fine. God has a plan and everything that happens in our lives happens for a reason. We all have a point in our lives where we feel like it's never going to get better. Maybe for me that's my teenage years.
I have a sense of peace though. I don't know what I would do without God. I would have no faith, nothing to hold onto. I don't believe that I would have peace. Christianity has one thing that other religions do not have and that is a living God. God is not only there for us but he suffers with us. He loves us so unconditionally. I understand that Christ suffered more than any of us will. He took on all of the sins of the world in him. He was hated, persecuted and died on a cross.
I am beyond thankful for him and his love and compassion outweighs any suffering on this earth.
DFTBA
-AB
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