Worst Things About Long Hair

I'm making this list to remind myself of why long hair stinks for when I eventually get my hair cut short.

1. No matter how many times you brush it, it will NEVER feel luxurious and smooth. Moreover, it will just get frizzy and still be tangly.
2. You always have split ends that you don't want to cut off because you'd lose a precious two inches of your hair.
3. You think you'll do creative, cool Pinterest-y things with your long locks, but you really only have four hair styles: down, half-up-half-down, bun, ponytail.
4. Washing your hair is no fun. It's like washing a giant, heavy, soggy, long-haired cat curled up on your head. 
5. Hair products do nothing for long hair.
6. The amount of hair you lose brushing your hair is insane. It also gets EVERYWHERE and clogs up the drain.
7. Your head hurts when it's in a bun or ponytail because your hair is so heavy.
8. Your hair gets stuck in everything: book bags, seat belts, car windows, car doors, zippers...
9. Despite the TV ads, you CANNOT run your fingers through that long hair of yours. Never could, never will.
10. You have to worry about your food getting in your food while you eat.
11. Curling it or straightening it takes at least half an hour and can be slightly painful, and rarely gives the desired effect.
12. Windy days or rolled down windows are automatically a hair disaster.
13. Those beach pictures with the girl in the bathing suit and the long hair? Not you! You will perpetually have it in a ponytail, because that is PRACTICAL.
14. You look at girls with short hair and envy the ease and freedom that comes with not having a foot and a half of hair to haul around everywhere.
15. You can't shake your head and have your hair just magically fall into place like a majestic goddess.

Remember these things, future me. Long hair stinks.

Day 545 Song Recommendation: "All of Me" by Tanlines.
-SE Wagner