An Overdue Post
 |
| The girls taking selfies next to me looked at me like I was insane |
I turned 21.
I moved out of my old dorm.
I'm journaling again.
I'm reading again.
I'm trying new things.
I'll talk about one thing at a time. I turned 21 this November and I wish I had something more 'wise' to say. I planned on making a post but nothing felt right. Overall, it was a really good but chaotic day. Swag and DL came down to visit me which was needed. Brady and mom came down as well and I was so happy to see them. I was still struggling with homesickness. The day before that I got an email saying that I was approved to move to a new building. I should back up though. I never really talked much about my roommate and that was on purpose. Needless to say, we did not get along. She pretty much kept to herself and would leave for most of the day to go smoke. She never cleaned and rarely did laundry. The room smelled awful. It got to the point where I didn't notice it anymore and whenever my friends would come over they would practically gag. The air conditioning was also broken though maintenance said there was nothing wrong with it. So, just imagine being in a hot room with dirty laundry for almost three months. I wasn't sleeping either. The room was hot, there was a stranger sleeping in the same room, the bed was uncomfortable. My roommate was also a incredibly light sleeper. If I moved at all during the night it would wake her up and she would let me know. She never got out of bed before ten in the morning. She never used headphones and constantly talked on the phone when she was in the room. Eventually, Maya convinced me that I needed to move closer to her and our friends. She knew that I was not happy where I was. I would be able to live alone and there was most likely a room available. I emailed housing and two days later I got the okay. That was also the time that Brady and mom were visiting. It was a Friday and my roommate had left for the weekend (thank God). My mom went to buy plastic tubs while I started taking things down. We completely moved out and into my room in about four hours. Now, I am a lot happier, living by myself. At least I tried to live with someone else and I survived my worst roommate nightmare. I'm only now realizing how bad it was now that I'm out of it. It was the next day (Saturday) that Swag and Dakota came over and I was exhausted from the day before. We had a good time though driving around Salisbury. It ended to quickly but I also really wanted to sleep.
I also went home for almost two weeks for Thanksgiving. I cannot understate how much I needed to go home. I had only gone home once for barely two days in October. I missed my family and I missed Colt. I'm not going to lie, I missed Colt the most. I was supposed to leave on Thursday and then mom called me Wednesday morning to tell me that it was going to snow at home the next morning. My friends and I started laughing because of course it would snow. I'm the one that lives the farthest away. I planned to leave the next morning at like three or four in the morning. Then mom called me again to tell me that it would be a better idea to leave at night. The only issue was that I had to leave after 8:30 because I had a meeting. Driving at night is perfect for someone who struggles with car anxiety. I had never driven home from college by myself especially at night. I didn't want to do it but I was completely fueled by my desire to go home. The first hour and a half was fine. It was when I went over the bridge that my GPS told me to take a U-turn and I was freaking out. It also was trying to take me through Baltimore and I was against that. My parents had told me that I didn't need to do that but I didn't know what else to do. I just thought if I continued to go straight that it would not take me through Baltimore. After about 15 minutes I gave up and listened to the GPS. By this point I was getting a migraine and I didn't have any medicine. Then I saw the sign for Frederick and I literally could have cried. My migraine was pounding at this point because of all of the anxiety and my right eye began to blur. It was also eleven at night and nobody was on the road except for tractor trailers. I felt so close to home and I told myself that I was not going to crash. I was speeding a little when I got to Smithsburg (we won't talk about that). When I got home I saw Colt and could have cried because I was thrilled to see him. I was so excited to be home that I couldn't sleep. I basically spent the entire break doing nothing...it was glorious.
Now I'm back at school and I'm leaving soon. Finals are next week and I should be studying but I'm not. My anxiety has been bad all week and I knew I needed to do something. I dragged myself out of bed yesterday after spending a hour or two on Instagram. I got dressed and made myself drive to Barnes and Noble. I bought a book and sat in the cafe to write in my journal which was a very flushed out entry about the whole week. I still didn't want to go back after that so I went to Panera and I made myself get food I wouldn't normally try. I ended up getting a steak/vegetable sandwich, vegan macaroni and cheese and a 'orange turmeric' drink. Everything was so delicious. There wasn't one thing that I didn't like. I sat at a booth by myself with no phone and sat there, eating. I think my sense of taste was heightened because I wasn't distracted. By that point I was in a much better mood. After I was done eating I read some of my book before heading back to school. I spent the rest of the day not doing anything which was beyond nice.
Now I have to study
Hopefully I'll post soon
DFTBA
-AB
Comments
Post a Comment