Don't Let Your Bubble Shrink

     I've been working on posts for a while that I can't seem to finish, but because I should be studying for a midterm tomorrow, I think I'm definitely going to finish this one in one go because procrastinating on one thing is a great motivation for finishing another.
     Every fall I think about how glad I am that I'm not a freshman anymore and never will be again. Freshman year, I tried so hard to be sociable, to put myself out there and try new things and find somewhere that I fit in. It was exhausting, but ultimately over the next two years I was able to prune down all of the things I tried to a core two things: Dream and Grace Covenant Church. I still have the same amazing friends I met welcome week of freshman year, plus a few wonderful additions that I met in the following few weeks and months. It took a lot to get to the point where I am now, feeling as though I'm just as comfortable here in this apartment, in this city, at this college, with these people as I am at home, but I wouldn't change it for the world and I thank my freshman year self for trying so hard for both of us. She put herself out there and forced herself to do things she wasn't comfortable with, and it paid off.
     This year, I was feeling pretty comfortable and settled and didn't intend on joining any new organizations or doing new things. But I'm happy to say that I've done a few things that freshman year me probably wouldn't have done. I took on a leadership position with Dream and with GCC, I started attending a weekly fitness class all by myself and found that it really isn't painfully awkward without a friend because no one is looking at me, and today I spent 45 minutes speaking in Spanish with a stranger!
     The more I do things I'm uncomfortable with or think I can't do, the more I a) get comfortable with them and b) realize I can in fact do them. For example: with Dream, my co-chair and I get along really well and work really well together and our director (who supervises us) is super helpful and nice and she actually came over to my apartment when we had our first Bible study taco night.
     Helping to lead a GCC Bible study has also been a really good experience and even when I feel like I'm not doing a good job or should be doing more to try to connect with and pray for our members, I'm reminded that it's in no way MY Bible study but God's and that no matter what I do or don't do He'll make something good of it. Plus, it just so happens that our Bible study is hands-down the shyest and most socially awkward faction of Temple GCC, which is just perfect because I am both shy and socially awkward and can relate to all my fellow family group members on a spiritual level in that way. The girl who I lead with always asks me afterward why our family group members are so quiet and never participate and I'm like "It's okay, really, I was the same way freshman year. I would never answer a question unless I was directly asked. But then again, they could hate it..." and she was like "Nah, they definitely don't hate it because they keep coming back." I think God definitely knew what He was doing when He put us all together and I hope that as the year goes on everyone gets a little more comfortable talking and sharing with each other.
     Attending Thursday night "boot camp" fitness classes has become one of my favorite parts of the week. Because when I'm doing burpees...I'm not thinking about anything else but doing burpees. I am in no way becoming fit by exercising a measly once a week, but I do think it's good for my emotional health. The first time I went I was convinced that I would have to leave half way through the 50 minute session, but I survived and kept coming back! The next day my legs were hecka sore, but it's gotten better every week after that. (Except last week when I heard something in my foot pop while doing one of the exercises and it hasn't been quite the same since...oops).
     On a spur of the moment earlier this week I decided that I needed to get serious about practicing Spanish before going to Spain in January (and me lying in bed at night talking to myself in Spanglish on occasion was not cutting it), so I made an appointment at the Writing Center to meet with a Spanish conversation partner today. I was pretty nervous, but it went really well and the girl I met with is actually the roommate of the girl I'm co-chairs with at Dream, knows two of my closest friends at Temple (and was roommates with one of them while studying abroad in Rome this summer), and lived in the town I currently live in! So we had a lot to talk about. Plus, she was just a really nice person and said that my Spanish was really good and fluid but I'm sure she just has to say that to build up the confidence of her tutorees.
     Anyway, all of this is to say that you're never too old to try new things, and even if you've passed the standard phase of "reinventing yourself" (i.e. the beginning of high school or college or a new job) you don't have to settle for staying in your comfort zone. Comfort zones are nice and I definitely stay in mine more than I should, but moving out of it even briefly reminds me that there's a whole world of things that I can do if I would just try!
     Well that's it for tonight's cliche and inspirational post...Back to studying.

-SE Wagner