On Nostalgia
Nostalgia is such a weird feeling. It's impossible to conjure up, but when it hits you it's a super powerful emotion.
I don't know why, but I randomly started going through some old photos on my computer tonight and found a video from junior year of high school and the video is like five minutes long of DL and MF talking and singing in my mom's old pottery shed and then another video, taken a few minutes after the first one, is of DL, MF, and AP dancing and singing songs from High School Musical. I'm filming the whole thing and the only part I come in is to burp loudly and wave my scarf back and forth in front of DL and MF, which basically sums me up...The video was just so us. I forgot what it was like when my entire life was high school. Well, now my whole life is college, but still. I just had no idea that I was living in a little teeny tiny bubble back then (I'm fully aware that I'm still living in a bubble now, but at least it's a teensy bit bigger). Watching that video, I was just smiling and laughing at how ridiculous we were. We were 17 years old, singing and dancing to songs from a movie meant for middle schoolers. At 5 PM on a Friday night. I did not in any way have the traditional American high school experience and for that I am infinitely grateful. Yes, my world was isolated and insulated. It was safe and it was aggressively normal. But that world, it allowed me to create the most beautiful friendships that lasted. We had each other, and we still do. Not in the same way. We became different things for each other. We found ourselves apart from us. And that's okay, because if we're 40 and still dancing and singing to High School Musical, I might wonder about our sanity.
I couldn't have imagined that when AB said, "Let's start a blog" sophomore year of high school we'd still be doing this thing sophomore year of college. Our posts have changed a lot. I don't use this blog as my diary anymore (which is a good thing, in my opinion). I don't post song recommendations. I don't post every day, or every week. And yeah, I do have a bit of nostalgia for the times when I did do those things, but it brings me some comfort to think that Papersol could very well be here for the rest of our lives, even when we cease to add more content. It'll be the collective remembrance of a period of not just the three of our lives, but the lives of our friends and families as well.
I can't even imagine the thousands upon thousands of words we've collected in this space. But I think they encapsulate us well. I think they're as honest as one could be in a space like this. They're unapologetic, un-self-conscious. As crappy as the internet and technology can be in terms of making us forget about the things that actually matter, they can be pretty helpful in keeping memories safe. I don't know how useful of a feeling nostalgia is, but I think it's necessary as a way of reflecting on where we've been and where we are and where we're going. Nostalgia is like a little GPS for our hearts, pointing us back to the things that matter the most.
-SE Wagner
I don't know why, but I randomly started going through some old photos on my computer tonight and found a video from junior year of high school and the video is like five minutes long of DL and MF talking and singing in my mom's old pottery shed and then another video, taken a few minutes after the first one, is of DL, MF, and AP dancing and singing songs from High School Musical. I'm filming the whole thing and the only part I come in is to burp loudly and wave my scarf back and forth in front of DL and MF, which basically sums me up...The video was just so us. I forgot what it was like when my entire life was high school. Well, now my whole life is college, but still. I just had no idea that I was living in a little teeny tiny bubble back then (I'm fully aware that I'm still living in a bubble now, but at least it's a teensy bit bigger). Watching that video, I was just smiling and laughing at how ridiculous we were. We were 17 years old, singing and dancing to songs from a movie meant for middle schoolers. At 5 PM on a Friday night. I did not in any way have the traditional American high school experience and for that I am infinitely grateful. Yes, my world was isolated and insulated. It was safe and it was aggressively normal. But that world, it allowed me to create the most beautiful friendships that lasted. We had each other, and we still do. Not in the same way. We became different things for each other. We found ourselves apart from us. And that's okay, because if we're 40 and still dancing and singing to High School Musical, I might wonder about our sanity.
I couldn't have imagined that when AB said, "Let's start a blog" sophomore year of high school we'd still be doing this thing sophomore year of college. Our posts have changed a lot. I don't use this blog as my diary anymore (which is a good thing, in my opinion). I don't post song recommendations. I don't post every day, or every week. And yeah, I do have a bit of nostalgia for the times when I did do those things, but it brings me some comfort to think that Papersol could very well be here for the rest of our lives, even when we cease to add more content. It'll be the collective remembrance of a period of not just the three of our lives, but the lives of our friends and families as well.
I can't even imagine the thousands upon thousands of words we've collected in this space. But I think they encapsulate us well. I think they're as honest as one could be in a space like this. They're unapologetic, un-self-conscious. As crappy as the internet and technology can be in terms of making us forget about the things that actually matter, they can be pretty helpful in keeping memories safe. I don't know how useful of a feeling nostalgia is, but I think it's necessary as a way of reflecting on where we've been and where we are and where we're going. Nostalgia is like a little GPS for our hearts, pointing us back to the things that matter the most.
-SE Wagner
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