Who Is God?

     I have had the privilege of experiencing both sides of Christianity: Protestant and Catholic. I grew up in the Catholic church and while I continue to attend a Catholic Bible study once a week, I now go to a non-denominational church that I am very active in and enjoy going to. Standing on the divide between two different sides of the same faith has left me feeling very confused, lost, and defeated more than a few times. I've heard Catholics bash Protestants and Protestants bash Catholics. I've heard each argue convincingly for why the other is wrong. I've heard each say the other doesn't understand who Jesus is, doesn't understand what religion is or isn't supposed to be. I've felt persecuted by both faiths, because I don't fully belong to either. I choose to stand in the divide and I choose, above religion, above argument, above being right or wrong, I choose God. I choose Jesus. I choose the God of love; the God who knows each one of us so personally and cares for us so deeply. I choose that God, because He is the only one who has been there through it all, the only one who doesn't care what denomination I adhere to. The only one not keeping tabs on my church attendance or how "religious" or "righteous" I am. It is SO incredibly easy to fall into the trap of letting the world define who Jesus is. I can turn to my right and have someone tell me with every fiber of their being that He is this; I can turn to my left and have someone tell me with gravest sincerity that He is not this, He is that. It's like having my heart and mind tied up with rubber bands with a hundred hands pulling me in one direction and a hundred more pulling me in other, each screaming at me, "I AM RIGHT, FOLLOW ME" until I'm bursting at the seams trying to make everyone happy.
     I do not have to make the world happy.
     God does not demand that of me. He knows my heart, and He knows exactly what He is doing. He doesn't hate me for not choosing sides, or favoring one side above another. God never intended for there to be sides. When he told Peter to create His church, He spoke nothing of denominations. The disagreements between Christians arise not from who God is but who we are--humans who cannot possibly know everything, but are trying our best to navigate this painful, confusing, divisive world. We are humans who fight. Humans who disagree. Humans who hate. If only we could raise our eyes from this earth long enough to look at what--who--really matters, that hate, those walls, would fall away into the ocean. Could you imagine how loving, how beautiful, how transformative it would be if every Christian on earth laid down their weapons against each other, shook hands, and said "We are one. We're in this together. Let's start over. Let's go back to the basics." Let's go back to the beginning. Back to a God who loves absolutely everyone, who IS love and love alone. Let's go back to a God who breaks down borders, who raises people from the dead, whose touch alone heals. Let's go back to the man who wept for his people, his people who didn't understand his love and chose to kill him instead. Let's go back to the man who said "Forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." If we were to be real for half a second, I think we would all come to the same conclusion: we have absolutely no clue what we are doing. We follow blindly along this road called life, praying that these stepping stones will keep us from sinking. But we know nothing of this world; we are the blind leading the blind. We can only see one stone in front of us, and sometimes not even that. All the rest is black. The more we claim to know, the more our ignorance shows through. So let's admit it: we are wrong. We are wrong and we are human and we are loved in spite of it all.
     Above all else, let's love. Let's love because we are loved by a God who is love itself. Let's rejoice in that and leave the fighting behind. I think God would want that. I think that would make Him incredibly happy.

-SE Wagner