Look For The Beauty

I can't seem to make myself write a normal post. Especially with all the chaos that is happening in this country. It doesn't seem right to write a normal post. Maybe this election hit me harder than it hit others. I thought no matter what I would be over it by now. It hasn't though, I somehow end up crying one way or another. Today I just got annoyed and decided to go for a walk by myself.  I tried, to sum up, what I was feeling in my journal.
"A part of me doesn't feel like it's right to 'be okay'. I don't know how to help people. I don't know what to do. Right now the country is hurting. Fear can bring the worst out of people. Power can do the same thing. I think to a certain extent we're all afraid. Whether you're a Trump or Hillary supporter."
I was fuming as I was walking. Then on the way back I stopped on the side of the road. When I looked behind me I saw the sun shining through the trees.  That's when it hit me.
We have to find the beauty in everything. If we only focus on the negative we will go insane. These next four years will be hell on earth. When I got home I started writing down the things in my life that were beautiful. Whether they be past or present.
This is what I came up with...

1. That sun shining through the trees.

I don't know why I put that giant picture of Colt in. I guess because he was actually behaving for once.

2. Friends that always answer the phone.

Fiona has been my saving grace the past few days. We've been calling and texting each other to see if the other is okay. As you can see it was twelve in the morning and I realized that Trump was going to be president. Fiona kept trying to console me and telling me that Hillary still had a chance. I think we both knew that it wasn't going to happen. I don't know what I would have done if she hadn't answered the phone. 

3. The unexpected people who are there for you.

In my 7 AM class, my professor came in with a huge basket of candy. She said that she thought that we would want it. It was one of the biggest blessings of the day. 

4. Unexpected text messages

The last time that I saw Melissa was July. Somehow she still finds a way to come in my life. This was one of the best things that I could have heard.

5. These videos...

Just watch them.

6. Journaling

Journaling has always saved me. It's how I deal with the stuff in my life. It's much better than ranting on Twitter. No one cares on Twitter. Well if you are a celebrity then people probably care. Plus you're able to write pages and pages about whatever. No on is going to read it. It is a beautiful thing to be able to write. 

7. Change

I am not good with technology. Whenever I have to upload pictures from my phone I privately put them on Facebook. Because of that I get to see older pictures. That's a blessing and a curse. I saw my senior pictures and I got emotional. I know I talk about change a lot on this blog. It's a topic that fascinates me. Some change isn't bad though. When I saw that picture I started crying. I remembered how I felt that day. I felt insecure and uncomfortable. I hate taking pictures of myself. I like to be in groups when taking pictures. Basically I don't like to be the center of attention. Then I saw the picture that I took today. It was so weird. I haven't talked much about losing weight and that was on purpose. It's one of the few things I don't feel comfortable sharing. Mainly because it's very personal and no journey is as easy as you think it's going to be. There's been unexpected bumps in the road. I see myself in the mirror every day and it's hard to notice change. When I see pictures though it's strange. It's you but it's not. I look at that girl and I almost feel sorry for her. She didn't believe that she could change. It's one of those instances where I am grateful for the change.

8. This song.

There's hope for the hopeless and all those who've strayed

Come sit at the table, come taste the grace

There's rest for the weary, rest that endures

Earth has no sorrow that heaven can't cure.

So lay down your burdens, lay down your shame

All who are broken, lift up your face

Oh wanderer come home, you're not too far

So lay down your hurt, lay down your heart

Come as you are...

Come as you are...

Fall in His arms...

Come as you are...

There's joy for the morning, oh sinner be still

Earth has no sorrow, that heaven can't heal

Earth has no sorrow, that heaven can't heal

9. These....

This doesn't need an explanation. Just look at it.

10. This...

This puts so much in perspective. It reminds me that God is in control. That no matter what happens we belong to him. That gives me hope.

DFTBA

-AB