Hope

I never wanted to write this. I honestly didn't think that it would be this bad. I've been sitting in silence pretty much all day. Normally I hate the silence but today it feels fitting. It's also pouring which also feels fitting. I don't want to get on social media, I don't want to listen to music and I don't want to fight. Last night was filled with noise and grief. Today there is silence and grief. I tried to go to bed last night but I physically couldn't. I kept watching the polls and waiting. Eventually the reality sunk in and I started bawling. It was late at night and I knew I needed to call someone. Fiona and I talked. Well, I cried while Fiona tried to calm me down. She refused to lose hope until the very end. At that time though I knew it was over. I knew Trump would win. As I kept going through the social media my heart began to sink more and more. After it was all over I posted something on Facebook that I knew would get hate. The joys of living in a conservative town. Sure enough, the hate started pouring in. After I deleted the hateful comments I knew I was done. I deleted all my social media apps. I think the only safe place is Pinterest. There comes a point where enough is enough. Then I started thinking about the people. The people who will stay in the closet, the Muslims who don't feel safe, the sexual assault survivors who just got the biggest 'f *ck you', women in general, anyone who isn't white etc. My heart is breaking for them. I'm trying to find the words to say but I'm coming up short. I wish I had all the answers. I wish that I could fix this. I do have one piece of advice though. Never lose hope.  Never believe that we are to far gone that things will never get better. If we lose hope we don't have a chance. Hope is what drives us to do what we believe is right. Hope comes with perseverance, love, understanding etc.
This is not the end.
DFTBA
-AB