It Will Work Out

This weekend has been a whirlwind of emotions. It's no secret that college has been rough for all of us. Adapting is hard. It's like all the sudden we became adults. We were kids yesterday and now we are in complete control of our lives.
I worry about my friends, grade etc. College is basically high school but with more stress and people who wear pajamas. I am not judging those people. I wish that I was brave enough to be one of those people. Anyway...
Yesterday I had the internet experience from hell. My one class is completely on the internet. On a website that is always broken. I started fixing it around one in the afternoon until nine at night. I stopped thirty minutes for dinner. I got nowhere. I called, I chatted with people who could 'help' me, I screamed at people who tried to help me and I yelled at God. I'm one of the people who thinks if the tiniest mishap happens then God doesn't love me. Like if it rains and I forgot my umbrella then God is mad at me. I know that seems ridiculous but when I'm living it it makes sense to me. Anyway I easily get emotional. We all know this. I was sobbing about six hours in. I couldn't control myself any longer. It was like the ugly cry that you made when you were a child. I was so upset. Needless to say it wasn't fixed. I was a mess. My eyes were ridiculously puffy and my entire face was red as a beet.
Then a huge God moment happened. I can't go into great detail about the God moment but that phone call put everything into perspective. After the God moment happened I truly felt the holy spirit. I had completely forgot about my problem. I felt God say to me,
"This is what life is about."
This is not what life's about...

• Life is not about doing everything right. 
• It's not about getting your homework done a week ahead.
• It's not about knowing everything.
• It's not about never having any problems. 
• It's not about being perfect.

Life is about being Jesus to other people and being there for others. It's about taking it slowly and enjoying every moment. To laugh when life get's hard and to cry tears of joy when life is unbelievably good. Christ did not die for us to be unhappy in this life. Even though this is not our true home we need to enjoy it. When we cling to God with everything we have we experience life through his eyes. How cool is that? We worry less about ourselves and strive to make others lives better. Because when we ravish ourselves with Jesus we see that life is not about us. We feel the hunger and the want to make lives better. To love people with that crazy Jesus love. 

Yesterday I saw myself change a little. It was like God was trying to tell me that for a long time. It finally sunk in. It was a beautiful thing to experience. I let go of what I thought was supposed to happen and let God do what he wanted. Because ultimately his way is better than mine. It always will be. I woke up this morning feeling the anxiety. The want to fix everything and to go a hundred miles an hour. I got up though and I picked up the bible and sat in the living room. Taking that time to be with God. I looked at my phone and I saw the texts from my friends and my heart swelled. It's amazing. 

Then I got my on my laptop to email someone about how to fix the internet/website problem. When I got on the website it was fixed. Everything was working. I felt the weight lifted off my shoulders and said a prayer of thanks. God had worked out what I thought was going to be more hard than what it was. He fought even the most simple battles for me. This is what happens when I let go and let God do what he wants.

DFTBA

-AB