The Introvert Tries To Make Friends (Part 1)

She's back at it again...

I laugh at myself on a daily basis. Normally I trip over something while making up a story in my head or run into something just because it's me. Yet I get mad at the object I ran into because it clearly was not there before. Or I awkwardly say 'good' when someone says 'good morning' to me. There's nothing that you can do about this situation other than laugh at yourself. It's no secret this week has been rough. I know that I'm an introvert but I love my friends. I love that group of friends that I can count on my fingers. Those people that I have known for years or feels like I've known for years. They're gone though and I am forced to make new friends. I need people in my life. We all do. As much as we introverts don't like to admit we need people just as much as others. I could text Swag and DL forever but eventually we're going to get busy and inconveniences happen.
It is not easy for me to make friends. I was lucky enough to find the people that I did. I know Swag, DL and I became friends in high school but to be fair I've known them since elementary school. I knew that Swag and DL were somewhat like me and we probably have the same interest. In college you have no idea. You don't know who these people are. I watch DL and Swag making friends and I am happy for them. This morning I asked God why I wasn't making friends. The answer is simple. I could have came up with it on my own.
College hasn't started for me. It starts Tuesday. It's not like we're all going to flock to the college to make friends. We probably should have done that though. Anyway I told myself the week before everyone left that I would make a valiant attempt to make friends. I don't want to be alone all the time. I don't want to accidentally text Swag that I'm at church for the rest of the year. My new church has this thing called 'Life Groups' which is basically a bible study or a group that gets together. I told myself that I was going to go to it. Lifehouse has some of the nicest people that I have ever met and it was a good idea. I had no idea what I was going into. I found the main church, pulled into the parking lot and had no idea what was going on. I sat in my car probably for a good ten minutes. I don't know what I expected. It wasn't like people were going to escort me to where I needed to go. That's where anxiety girl comes into play. I was there by myself and it seemed like everyone had someone to talk to. I wished Swag was there to be confused with me. Eventually I got out of my car and started walking around. I probably looked like an idiot. I figured it out. Whenever you don't know what's happening just walk toward the crowd of people. That's probably common sense for the average person. After signing up there didn't seem like there was much to do. I went back to my car and started laughing at myself. What had just happened? I realized when it comes to making friends go into it with no expectations. I wasn't disappointed. I was just surprised. It wasn't what I had expected it to be. I basically laughed and talked to myself the whole way home. The people in the other car probably thought that I was crazy.
So now I'm probably going to be spending Mondays and Wednesdays with mothers and older woman. There were two teenagers there I think. Who knows I could make a new best friend? This is the fun that comes with joining a new church and going to a new school. You feel experienced except your not. It's nothing like elementary school where you just become friends with whoever you want. You hold yourself back because you think, 'It's not like we'll stay friends'. Or whatever runs through your head. Act like a kindergarten when it comes to making friends. Don't be afraid and just talk to people. I don't know what college is going to be like to a certain extent. All I know is that it's different than high school. Hopefully there is a person that loves books as much as I do and will go on random trips to Walmart. That would be a dream.
Good luck introverts around the world.
DFTBA
-AB