Conversations, Compassion, and Community

     I feel like I've aged a thousand years in the course of a day or so. That probably sounds overly dramatic, but I guess what I really mean is I learned a lot and went through a range of emotions in basically 24 hours. I'm sure the emotions are due mostly to hormones, but whatever. Last night I went over to my grandma's house with my mom, since it's a tradition for us to hang out for a "girls night in" while the guys go away to tractor and truck pulls.Usually we play games, or look through magazines and books or try on piles of clothes together (we all wear the same size but everything looks completely different on us. It's one of the great mysteries of the world). This time, though, instead of any of that stuff, we just sat and talked the entire time. We talked about my friends and my relationships with them, our different understandings of the Bible and the relationship between the Old and New testament, politics. marriage and the role that it plays in society, why or why not we should wear head coverings as Christians and specifically as Mennonites, my grandma's struggles with anxiety and nerves when she was first married and had to stay alone all the time while my grandfather was driving truck, my Mom's issues with depression, how we pray and our struggles with praying, miracles we've witnessed, my grandma's experience as a mother of a severely handicapped son, race issues, how Christianity fit into the days of slavery, different denominations of Christianity. Everything under the sun. And it was so easy, one topic just flowed to the next. It was so nice to be able to have an intelligent discussion with two other women who I love and respect and value their opinions greatly. It also made me realize that I don't have it all figured out and my mom and grandma are way smarter than me when it comes to a lot of things, and that they really do know what they're talking about in life. I think I gained a new respect for them in some ways. And my grandma gave me one of the highest compliments I think I've ever received. At one point after I had been talking about my view of forgiveness and some other faith related things, my grandma said "I would never have been able to think so deeply about things the way you do when I was your age. I'm proud of you." And the funny thing is, when she was my age, she was married, and I would never be able to have the level of maturity to manage a household and have a husband at my age! So I'm proud of her! Like she took a humongous leap of faith to leave her family behind at 18 and take on all the responsibilities of being a wife not to mention living by herself completely for long stretches of time while Pop was on the road. It must have been so hard and so lonely! I don't think I could ever do that. So we both have our things that we're "mature" about at age 18, but obviously neither of us are perfect. I was just really flattered by what she said about me, because I look up to her so much. I'm telling you, my grandma is one of the coolest people you will ever meet. And it's so funny, because she did everything the "traditional" and "domestic" way, and yet I still think of her as probably the strongest and most independent woman I've ever met. Not to mention one of the smartest. And she hated school! But she has read literally thousands of books, and taught herself everything she knows through reading. People say that I remind them of her, and that makes me so happy. I can only hope to be half as smart as she is when I'm her age. And as for my mother, you will never meet someone so good at letting things go as her. I'm not talking about physical things, because she's a certifiable pack-rat, but I mean like things people say, or tough situations. She doesn't let anything rattle or or effect her, and she has incredible trust in God. I don't think she ever worries about anything! She just knows it's going to work itself out. I wish I was more like that. And she's so good with people who are difficult for most people to deal with. I mean she works with elderly people, people with special needs, and low income individuals every single day at her job, and she loves it and is so good at it. People tell me that I'm good with people too, but not at the level she is at all.
      Both my mom and my grandma have passed on to me a compassion for special needs individuals, so I guess I would consider myself good at interacting with them, but really it's through no effort of my own. It's just because I've been around people with special needs my whole life. My uncle, as I've mentioned, is severely handicapped, mentally and physically, which honestly, for all the hardship that it has brought to our family, it has also been one of the biggest blessings in my life and all of our lives. Because of him, I know I've become more patient, and I'm more understanding of individuals that other people have a hard time dealing with. My mom also worked with special needs adults when I was little, and would often take me and my brother into her work, or bring some of the adults home for things like Easter Egg painting. She just recently started working with special needs adults again. It's just always been part of who I am. I guess that's why someone recommended me for Unified Sports, and I'm so glad for it. Unified Sports was definitely one of, if not the, highlight of my high school career and I'm so happy SE did it with me. Being around people with special needs just puts things into perspective and always reminds me that life doesn't have to be as complicated as I seem to make it. At this point, I can see myself working with special needs people in college, or even when I get out of college, maybe even adopting a child with special needs. I wouldn't say it's something I'm passionate about per se, because that implies that it's something I actively pursue. It's more like it's just something that's part of me. Like it's in my genes. And I can't imagine not having special needs individuals in my life, so I'll probably make sure that I always have a stake in that community because it's important to me.
     Anyway, this post was kind of rambly, but I just feel like those conversations with my mom and grandma gave me a lot of insight and new knowledge and a lot to think about. So if you ever feel like learning something, sit down for an hour and just talk to someone in your family. Try to understand where they're coming from and what they believe and why they believe it. You will be surprised.

-VaughnDL