Thin Spaces
*Pretend that I can post something on time.
I woke up today exhausted. I don't sleep very well when I'm alone at my house. Going to sleep is always difficult because I think about the 'what if's'. What if Ted Bundy is outside my house? I don't care if he's dead I can't rationalize at this point. What if someone breaks in? What if my house is haunted and this is the night the ghosts and demons kill me? What if someone is at the foot of bed and I can't see because I'm sleeping on my stomach? It's a whole fiasco. Then I woke up around three in the morning, turned on Netflix and went back to sleep. Now that everyone is back I just want to take a giant nap. I didn't want to go to church today. Especially with Swag being gone. I did it though. At youth group I was pretty much falling asleep. Sorry. Then I went to the other church and sat in the front so I was likely to not fall asleep.
I don't know what it was this time but church was amazing. There was this energy inside that I had never felt before. Maybe it was because I was in the front? I understand why those people seem so happy when I'm sitting in the back. It was so hard not to sing, to not lift your hands in praise. Swag asked me what the sermon was on. Sometimes I see texts and I don't answer them because i'm going to answer them 'later'. I never do. Sorry Swag I love you.
Our church does series. This series was called 'Thin Spaces'. I'm not the best at explaining it but here's the description from the website.
"What we see is not all that exists. The physical world is not the only world, and the material doesn’t limit what is manifest. There is more beyond the limitations of our sight, awareness, senses, intellect, dimensions, and finiteness. Celtic Christians called these places “thin places,” where the space or boundaries between heaven and earth, God and man, the natural and the supernatural, are especially thin. Applying the principles from the life of Jesus will give us strength, hope, and power in our daily dealings with the supernatural."
This was the last week of the series. The title of it was called 'Eternal Life.' The pastor talked about how this life isn't the end. That we shouldn't live in the moment. Because when we live in the moment we get scared. I'm not talking about the good times but when we are scared. When he said that I had one of those 'Oprah moments', 'The aha moment.' Because when I'm living in the moment sometimes I let fear in. I started scheduling last week. We all know how fun that is. Long story short nothing got done. I went home and fumed. All the thoughts started rolling through my mind. "What is wrong with me?" "Why can't I have this all figured out?" "Why can't God just tell me what the plan is?" I was completely living in the moment and I was making myself miserable. I couldn't see past what was happening in the present.I sulked around the rest of the day and then finally broke down that night and started writing in my journal. It was depressing at first and then the entry takes a 360 degree turn.
"I keep going because I know there is something better. I don't know what tomorrow is going to be like. Maybe tomorrow is going to be a bad day. I don't know though, I can't predict that. Sometimes it feels like there is so many reasons to give up. To settle. To settle for a more practical life. At the same time the reasons to keep going seem so much sweeter and more fulfilling. I can't settle for something I don't want. God promises that he has a plan. It such a great plan that I can't even begin to fathom the plan that he has. Just because I can't see it doesn't mean that it won't happen."
The main bible verse of the sermon was this, "For we live by faith, not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7. Huge God moment. When I heard that bible verse I realized that I was having a thin space moment. All I could do was sit there with my mouth hanging open. It was like God was saying, 'Trust me.' I am not patient. I feel like I constantly have to do something. I can't do anything in this situation but wait.
DFTBA
-AB
I woke up today exhausted. I don't sleep very well when I'm alone at my house. Going to sleep is always difficult because I think about the 'what if's'. What if Ted Bundy is outside my house? I don't care if he's dead I can't rationalize at this point. What if someone breaks in? What if my house is haunted and this is the night the ghosts and demons kill me? What if someone is at the foot of bed and I can't see because I'm sleeping on my stomach? It's a whole fiasco. Then I woke up around three in the morning, turned on Netflix and went back to sleep. Now that everyone is back I just want to take a giant nap. I didn't want to go to church today. Especially with Swag being gone. I did it though. At youth group I was pretty much falling asleep. Sorry. Then I went to the other church and sat in the front so I was likely to not fall asleep.
I don't know what it was this time but church was amazing. There was this energy inside that I had never felt before. Maybe it was because I was in the front? I understand why those people seem so happy when I'm sitting in the back. It was so hard not to sing, to not lift your hands in praise. Swag asked me what the sermon was on. Sometimes I see texts and I don't answer them because i'm going to answer them 'later'. I never do. Sorry Swag I love you.
Our church does series. This series was called 'Thin Spaces'. I'm not the best at explaining it but here's the description from the website.
"What we see is not all that exists. The physical world is not the only world, and the material doesn’t limit what is manifest. There is more beyond the limitations of our sight, awareness, senses, intellect, dimensions, and finiteness. Celtic Christians called these places “thin places,” where the space or boundaries between heaven and earth, God and man, the natural and the supernatural, are especially thin. Applying the principles from the life of Jesus will give us strength, hope, and power in our daily dealings with the supernatural."
This was the last week of the series. The title of it was called 'Eternal Life.' The pastor talked about how this life isn't the end. That we shouldn't live in the moment. Because when we live in the moment we get scared. I'm not talking about the good times but when we are scared. When he said that I had one of those 'Oprah moments', 'The aha moment.' Because when I'm living in the moment sometimes I let fear in. I started scheduling last week. We all know how fun that is. Long story short nothing got done. I went home and fumed. All the thoughts started rolling through my mind. "What is wrong with me?" "Why can't I have this all figured out?" "Why can't God just tell me what the plan is?" I was completely living in the moment and I was making myself miserable. I couldn't see past what was happening in the present.I sulked around the rest of the day and then finally broke down that night and started writing in my journal. It was depressing at first and then the entry takes a 360 degree turn.
"I keep going because I know there is something better. I don't know what tomorrow is going to be like. Maybe tomorrow is going to be a bad day. I don't know though, I can't predict that. Sometimes it feels like there is so many reasons to give up. To settle. To settle for a more practical life. At the same time the reasons to keep going seem so much sweeter and more fulfilling. I can't settle for something I don't want. God promises that he has a plan. It such a great plan that I can't even begin to fathom the plan that he has. Just because I can't see it doesn't mean that it won't happen."
The main bible verse of the sermon was this, "For we live by faith, not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7. Huge God moment. When I heard that bible verse I realized that I was having a thin space moment. All I could do was sit there with my mouth hanging open. It was like God was saying, 'Trust me.' I am not patient. I feel like I constantly have to do something. I can't do anything in this situation but wait.
DFTBA
-AB
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