Beautifully Exhausted

Today started out like any other day. I was surprisingly not woken up by Colt. We started going for a walk in the development. I thought because it's Saturday that nobody would be doing anything at nine in the morning. I was wrong. Everyone and their mother was in the development. Needless to say the walk was short lived. Colt wouldn't have been able to handle all the people. So we came back home and ran around outside. Then I realized that Fiona's graduation party was today. Hear me out, I love Fiona more than anything in the world. I hate parties though. They give me anxiety, there is a lot of people and you have to stay there for at least an hour. As always though it was more fun than what I thought. It was so great to see everyone. Eventually near the end of the day everyone started to leave and it ended up only being the teenagers. The others played ultimate frisbee while I wrote in my journal. I wish I could say that I took a lot of pictures but I didn't. I though Cassandra would back me up but she didn't. I guess we can't always make her take all of the pictures.

Ernst being one with the dogs. They were adorable.

The two crappy shots I got.

After the game I texted Jane to let Colt out. I didn't think that this would be such a big deal. But Colt loves Jane and he loves being outside. I put my phone down for ten minutes and this is what I got back. Sorry if you hate poop. This is real life.

I think that it's safe to say that Jane is amazing and she doesn't owe me anything. After that we sat around in the pavilion and I realized how hungry I was. I had barely eaten all day because I wouldn't eat Chipotle. Luckily Ernst was the hero of the day and got me food. It was delicious. I think I'm going to go eat the rest of it. Right when I got my food they started playing Mafia which is one of my favorite games. It was hilarious. None of us are very good because we wouldn't stop talking. Fiona is also a terrible Mafia. I knew it was her and no one believed me. She got away with it too. She can't hide anything. Also Zak is the best Mafia narrator in the world. I even ended up being the mafia. I don't know how no one caught me. I think it was pretty obvious. I guess because I threw people off by killing off my partner and crime. Also I might be a better actress than I thought. I have to yell at Nate for peaking during the game and seeing that it was me. Also props to Micah for knowing that it was me the entire time. I know that if Sid was there he probably would have figured it out. 

Then after we finished the game I realized how exhausted I was and everyone started to leave. Then I had one of those 'moments' The moment when I don't want to leave. The moment that I don't want this to end. I refused to start crying so I just went home. 

Now my entire body hurts and my hair is up in a disgusting tiny man bun. I miss my brother and the house seems to quiet. I didn't talk about this but he is in Georgia for work. I didn't know how much I would miss him. It's one of those things that you don't realize who you'll miss until they're gone. Now I miss Swag. Oh my gosh. I know I'll be doing this again in less than two months. Now I'm sitting and reflecting about the day and I am once again grateful. Grateful for friends who drive to get you food, neighbors who take care of your crazy dog, friends who cry the gifts you give them and for family who texts you randomly to see how you're doing. These are just few of the things. I am truly blessed and I am beautifully exhausted. I would choose this exhaustion over comfort any day. 

I'm not going to cry. Ugh please just one day without crying. I just want to text everyone and tell them how grateful I am for them. 

I'm going to go do that and go to bed. Wow I need sleep.

DFTBA

-AB