A Day in Versailles

     Last night JP and I were lying in our beds, talking about favorite stuffed animals and moving and school and friends and all of a sudden he says "Have you ever been in love?" I took a second, thinking of a way to get out of this curveball question. I said, "Sure. I'm in love with my mom and my dad and my family and my friends--" But JP was having none of that. "No I mean have you ever been in love with a boy?" I paused again, maybe sighed a little and said, "Well that's hard to say." JP, thinking that I hadn't understood the question, clarified, "Like have you ever liked a boy but he didn't know and you didn't know if he liked you back?" I swear, this kid should be a professional interrogator. Anyway, moments like those when JP is actually acting his age makes it all worth it.

     But the moments when he's biting his mom, taking pictures of her butt, and telling her that she ruined his life and asking why doesn't she just go home...well, those are the moments when I have to take a deep breath and think "This is just 25 days of my life. Not my whole life. Thank you, God."

     We had another late start to our day and spent the afternoon and evening at Versailles. We rode the train there and ate at the World's Busiest McDonald's in Versailles (in the town, not the palace, although that would've been cool). I had to go to the bathroom but for some reason it was locked and had a keypad on the door and you had to enter a passcode to get in and there was like a McDonald's Bathroom Guard outside of it so I stood there awkwardly until he was like "Bonjour" and I was like "bonjour" and then he asked me something in French and I just assumed that he was asking if I was waiting for the bathroom so I was like "uhhhh oui?" And he was like "Do you speak English?" and I was like "Yes" and he was like "Do you need bathroom or you buy something?" And I just like pointed at our table and was like "Oh we bought something...but I have to go to the bathroom..." And he just like waved me inside after putting in the password. I was super confused but after watching other people be super confused by it too I didn't feel so bad. Apparently they print the bathroom passcode on your receipt and you have to either use that to punch in the code or show the guard your receipt to use the bathroom. Overall, I find the European bathroom situation utterly ridiculous. They act like it's a special privilege to freaking pee. JUST LET ME GO, DANG IT!!! DON'T MAKE ME PAY AND DON'T MAKE ME PUT IN A STINKING PASSWORD!!! Jeez oh Pete. But I did my good deed of the day because I saw a couple try to go in and look super confused when it was locked and there was a keypad on the door and then they left and then came back and looked confused again so as we were leaving I was like "You need your ticket...your receipt..." And made a "receipt" hand motion and they were like "Oh oh! Ahh we threw away..." So even though they bought something they couldn't even use the bathroom because they lost their proof. Ridiculous. 

     ANYWAY. Versailles. Versailles was ridiculously beautiful. My aunt used to live near the palace/chateau/mansion when she went to architecture school (she also lived in Paris after that...or before...not sure) and we passed by the school she went to. I had not anticipated just how huge Versailles would be. The extravagance was unbelievable.

     Apparently King Louis XIV thought that he was basically next to God so when church was held he would stand up on a balcony facing the cross and everyone would look up at him, but with their backs to the cross. Craziness. 

     We walked around the gardens and saw the different fountains and took a ton of pictures. Today was MUCH cooler than yesterday or the day before and I was actually cold in my tank top and capris when the sun wasn't out. It was still enjoyable though. After the garden tour we got a snack and then went inside the palace to tour some of the rooms and watch people dressed up in period costumes sing and dance and perform. I'm not really into the whole "historical reenacting" thing but getting to see some of the rooms was super cool. I really can't fathom that anyone actually lived there. It just looks like the fanciest museum in the world...well, it probably is.

 

     Shortly after the tour ended, JP had his meltdown because his mom got upset with him for dropping his camera and breaking it so they had a little disagreement and that's when he told her that she ruined his life and he couldn't understand why she was always so mean to him and "why are you doing this to me mother?" etc. But he still got chocolate cake for dessert...sigh. I kind of get it though. A bit. On our second night here as my aunt was tucking JP into bed she said to him, "I always dreamed of being able to share Paris with someone I loved as much as you." But having a kid was something that was never going to happen for her...a dream that would be unrealized...until some miracle happened with some kind of invetro fertilization or something and she had JP when she was almost 48. So she waited half her life for JP and when she actually got him I guess she felt like any time she disciplined him she was being ungrateful in some way for the gift she'd been given. So she just tries to give him everything he could ever want to make him happy but he's not happy...and neither is she. In the long run. I mean, sure, they have happy moments but overall their relationship is tumultuous at best. I guess it's just a tough situation. 

     After the meltdown and dinner we went back into the palace gardens to watch the evening firework show but it turned out that it didn't start till 10:45 so we just stayed from 9-10 and watched the people dressed up in costumes and JP ran through the bubbles that were being blown out by industrial-sized bubble blowers. I was freezing cold because by the sun was setting and I had to pee really bad but even so I could appreciate, as I strolled through the cool, bubbly air and looks out over the fountains and acres of gardens and trees and the palace of Versailles gleamed in the background...I could appreciate that I was in Paris. Even though I wasn't actually in Paris anymore. How ironic.

     By 10, we left Versailles to catch the train back to Paris. We weren't sure whether the train left at 10:25 or 10:35 so we walked fast (I was already walking fast because by that point my bladder was about to explode). JP put his arm around my waist so I put my arm around his shoulder and we walked that way all the way to the train station. At one point he gave me a hug but squeezed a little too hard so I told him not to squeeze me because I had to pee and he was like "Why would that make you have to pee?" And I was like "Because that's where my bladder is" and he was like "What's a bladder?" And I was like "That's where all your pee is" and he was like "Hey mommy I learned a new word!"

     We made it to the train station at almost exactly 10:25 and after a scramble to find the tickets we made it onto the train right before it left. I had anticipated being able to use the bathroom on the train because the one we took there had a bathroom but after walking all over the train car I came to the sad conclusion that this train was bathroom-less. So I had to hold my pee for another 40 minutes and then another 15 minutes on the walk back to the apartment. That's like...two and half hours of pee-holding. 

     I'm starting to sound like JP with all this "potty talk" so I'll shut up. Why did I title this post A Day in Versailles? That was clearly not the main point of this post. Sorry. 

     Oh funny story! So a few nights ago I plugged in my phone to charge it and when I did the floor fan that was plugged in in the room let out a spark and started smelling like it was burning so I tried to turn it off and then turn it back on but it didn't work so I just unplugged it because I didn't want to start an electoral fire or something and then I unplugged my phone (yes I had an adapter thing and it was the right kind, thank you very much) and my aunt found the fan unplugged and broken when she came in at 2AM to make JP go to bed and asked JP if he'd messed with it and he was like "No I didn't touch it!" (which was actually the truth for once) and I was just pretending to be asleep and then when it was brought up again the next morning I was going to explain but because she still thought it was JP's fault I decided not to say anything...I thought that it would cease to be a topic of conversation but so far it's been brought up at least once a day. 😂 I don't feel that bad for lying by omission and letting JP take the sort-of blame (she hasn't outright accused him; he's just not allowed to touch the remaining fan) because I mean, he's not exactly making anyone's life easy. 

     Oh and on the first night here I flipped on the light switch in the bathroom and the light made a pop sound and didn't turn on again...I assumed the light bulb went out but when my aunt replaced it it still didn't work so I guess I'm just screwing up all the wiring in this place. So now we have to pee in the pitch black. I find it quite hilarious. 

     Oh but the hand soap in the bathroom smells like peaches and every time I use it I die a little and go to heaven. So it's all worth it. 

     I think that's the lesson of the day: it's worth it. And in the words of my mother: In the grand scheme of things it is the blink of an eye. 

Quote of the Day:

JP: "Do you like bird poop, mother?"

Aunt M: "What kind of question is that?"

JP: "I'm just wondering! Even you poop, mother!"

Day 945 Song Recommendation: "All Cried Out" by Blonde. Thanks to DL for the song rec. No crying today!! Yay!!

-SE Wagner