Greatest Fears
Okay, here's a list of my top three greatest fears:
3. Being kidnapped
2. Having my house burn down
1. Lice
Everyone always makes fun of my list, but I have good reasoning for my fears. Being kidnapped is only #3 because I have these really unrealistic expectations that in the event of kidnapping, I'd turn into some type of superwoman and devise a really great plan to escape easily, and snap, be out of the situation. Yeah, I know, it's a lot more complicated and sinister than that, but still, I just hope that I'll never have to face such a situation to begin with, so it's not super high on my list.
Number 2 is my house burning down because I am incredibly scared of losing irreplaceable mementos like letters and photographs and all the contents of my "friend boxes" (which are boxes full of all the random stuff my friends have given to me over the years). Ever since I was a little girl, I have been deathly afraid of fire. In second grade when my class went to Children's Village, we had to go over all the procedures you should follow in the event of a house fire (stay low to the ground, cover your face with a damp cloth if possible, always have an escape route, know your address so you can tell the 911 people, stop-drop-and-roll if your clothes are on fire, etc.). I was terrified! And to end the day, we had to walk through a burnt down house. There were creepy dolls with melted faces, there was the grease splattered, black charred stove, there were smoke stains all the way up the walls. It was my biggest nightmare come true. I remember that in the weeks after that, I screamed and cried in the middle of the night and when my parents came in to see what was wrong, I said I couldn't sleep because the people at Children's Village had told us about a woman who fell asleep near a candle and it lit her hair on fire and burnt down her whole house. I was afraid to sleep for fear of my hair catching on fire (mind you, there were no fire hazards anywhere near my head, but still).
Nonetheless, my family humored me and we did a fire drill every night before bed for a month or so because I was so afraid. I remember it perfectly. All my brother and I had to do was climb out our bedroom windows as fast as possible and run to the farthest end of the fence. My Mom would run out the front door and leave it open behind her so the cats could escape. My Dad would grab a phone and the hamster cage and run out the front door too. We rehearsed this day after day because of my fear (what a great family I have, right? And a really tolerant hamster too, to be toted out into the cold every night for our family fire drill). Anyway, as you can see, I was deathly afraid of fire. I still am, but not quite as bad as I was back then, thank goodness.
Nowadays, my number one fear is lice. Jest if you wish, but I think lice is a bigger deal than anyone else seems to think, and I can't understand why. I mean, there are visible creatures making a home in you HAIR. When is that ever okay? Sure, there are microscopic animals living on your skin and in your hair all the time, but keyword: microscopic. If I can't see them, I'm a-okay with them. But the instant I see little eggs clinging to my hair shafts, and their parents crawling leisurely across my scalp, you might as well shave off all my hair. My brother says that because I'm so afraid of lice, I'll probably get them soon, and he's probably right: which only serves to scare me more. I think the more you dwell on a fear, the scarier it is. The reason I hated fire so much wasn't because I was really at any real risk to have my house burn down, but simply because I thought about fire twenty-four-seven. It was a frightening obsession with me for awhile, and lately, lice has kinda been the same thing. I just cannot stand the idea of a bunch of organisms thinking they own the habitat that is my head!!!!! I shudder just thinking about it. You know how when you think of like, mosquitos, you start to itch? Well, thinking about lice makes my head tingle! Eek, I think I'm going to stop thinking about it now so I can get on with my life. :)
Movie Recommendation: The Switch. I recommend this movie for it's lice scene. Seriously. If my post hasn't convinced you to be afraid of lice, this movie will convince you. The poor little boy gets lice and he doesn't even care! He doesn't even care that there are creepy-crawlers residing in his hair!!! He even sympathizes with the little bastards! (Sorry). Anyway, here's the IMDb summary (I have a feeling this movie is too confusing for me to try and explain myself).
Kassie (Jennifer Aniston) and Wally (Jason Bateman) are best friends. Being unlucky in love, Kassie has decided to have a child using artificial insemination. Wally doesn't like this idea, but he isn't capable of admitting to himself, let alone to Kassie, that he's in love with her. At Kassie's artificial insemination party, Wally gets very drunk and spies the sperm donor's sample in the bathroom. Wally was way too drunk to know what he did that night, and Kassie has moved away because she doesn't feel that New York City is a place to raise a child. Now 7 years later, Kassie has moved back with her son Sebastian. While she is looking to get Roland (the sperm donor) more involved in their lives, Wally can't help but notice the many striking similarities that he and Sebastian share.
-VaughnDL
3. Being kidnapped
2. Having my house burn down
1. Lice
Everyone always makes fun of my list, but I have good reasoning for my fears. Being kidnapped is only #3 because I have these really unrealistic expectations that in the event of kidnapping, I'd turn into some type of superwoman and devise a really great plan to escape easily, and snap, be out of the situation. Yeah, I know, it's a lot more complicated and sinister than that, but still, I just hope that I'll never have to face such a situation to begin with, so it's not super high on my list.
Nonetheless, my family humored me and we did a fire drill every night before bed for a month or so because I was so afraid. I remember it perfectly. All my brother and I had to do was climb out our bedroom windows as fast as possible and run to the farthest end of the fence. My Mom would run out the front door and leave it open behind her so the cats could escape. My Dad would grab a phone and the hamster cage and run out the front door too. We rehearsed this day after day because of my fear (what a great family I have, right? And a really tolerant hamster too, to be toted out into the cold every night for our family fire drill). Anyway, as you can see, I was deathly afraid of fire. I still am, but not quite as bad as I was back then, thank goodness.
Nowadays, my number one fear is lice. Jest if you wish, but I think lice is a bigger deal than anyone else seems to think, and I can't understand why. I mean, there are visible creatures making a home in you HAIR. When is that ever okay? Sure, there are microscopic animals living on your skin and in your hair all the time, but keyword: microscopic. If I can't see them, I'm a-okay with them. But the instant I see little eggs clinging to my hair shafts, and their parents crawling leisurely across my scalp, you might as well shave off all my hair. My brother says that because I'm so afraid of lice, I'll probably get them soon, and he's probably right: which only serves to scare me more. I think the more you dwell on a fear, the scarier it is. The reason I hated fire so much wasn't because I was really at any real risk to have my house burn down, but simply because I thought about fire twenty-four-seven. It was a frightening obsession with me for awhile, and lately, lice has kinda been the same thing. I just cannot stand the idea of a bunch of organisms thinking they own the habitat that is my head!!!!! I shudder just thinking about it. You know how when you think of like, mosquitos, you start to itch? Well, thinking about lice makes my head tingle! Eek, I think I'm going to stop thinking about it now so I can get on with my life. :)
Movie Recommendation: The Switch. I recommend this movie for it's lice scene. Seriously. If my post hasn't convinced you to be afraid of lice, this movie will convince you. The poor little boy gets lice and he doesn't even care! He doesn't even care that there are creepy-crawlers residing in his hair!!! He even sympathizes with the little bastards! (Sorry). Anyway, here's the IMDb summary (I have a feeling this movie is too confusing for me to try and explain myself).
Kassie (Jennifer Aniston) and Wally (Jason Bateman) are best friends. Being unlucky in love, Kassie has decided to have a child using artificial insemination. Wally doesn't like this idea, but he isn't capable of admitting to himself, let alone to Kassie, that he's in love with her. At Kassie's artificial insemination party, Wally gets very drunk and spies the sperm donor's sample in the bathroom. Wally was way too drunk to know what he did that night, and Kassie has moved away because she doesn't feel that New York City is a place to raise a child. Now 7 years later, Kassie has moved back with her son Sebastian. While she is looking to get Roland (the sperm donor) more involved in their lives, Wally can't help but notice the many striking similarities that he and Sebastian share.-VaughnDL
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